These thoughts, or distortions of reality, are known as Distorted Styles of Thinking. Cognitive Therapy looks at identifying and changing "distorted" or "unrealistic" ways of thinking, with a goal of influencing emotion and behavior. By learning how to identify and retrain these unhelpful thoughts we can get out of our own way and even improve our relationships, our moods, and ultimately, our lives.
There are 15 Styles of Distorted Thinking; below is a list of the ones that most commonly surface:
Polarized Thinking (also known as Black and White Thinking or All or Nothing Thinking): Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. This is often expressed with the words “right,” “wrong,” “good,” and “bad.” Examples: Feeling or thinking like you have to be perfect or you're bad, or, thoughts like, “We always fight about money.”
Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. Examples: “Why does this always happen to me?” “I made a mistake at work; I’m a failure at everything I do.”
Mind Reading: You know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. You think that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Examples: “Jerry thinks I’m stupid.” “Everyone at this party thinks I’m a loser.” “I know he thinks I’m a bad friend.”
Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start "what if's." Examples: “What if I don’t get to the store on time? I’ll go hungry!” or “I’m going to lose my job if I speak up.”
Personalization: This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who's smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. Example: Thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you.
Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem. Blaming often involves making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are actually our own responsibility. Example: “If he hadn’t said that, I wouldn’t have yelled at him.” “She made me drink too much.”
Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. Example: People who suffer from this style of thinking frequently use words like “should,” “ought,” and “must.”
Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true—automatically. Example: If you feel stupid or boring, then you must be stupid and boring.
Pay attention to your thoughts and notice how they might be affecting the way you feel about yourself and others. Consider how irrational beliefs or distorted thoughts might be affecting your relationships. Once you notice that you are using Polarized Thinking or Blaming, confront the thought and reframe it with something more realistic. Make a conscious choice to take charge of your mental habits and redirect your focus of attention in a more successful direction. You can do it!
1 comments:
If I feel that this blog is really, really smart, does that make it so?
Post a Comment