feeling overwhelmed?

It seems an appropriate time to write about stress, especially in the face of a challenging and ever-shifting economy.  Our stability as individuals, as a nation, and as a world is in constant flux.  Assurance of a sound and steady life begins with us.  Take a look at your own life to see how you might be contributing to a sense of insecurity and what you might do to contribute to the change we all would like to see in the world.

This blog is especially for you if:

• you tend to feel behind in most areas of your life
• you have trouble with organization
• your mind races throughout the day
• your "to-do" list grows, rather than decreases, each day
• you generally run late to appointments and commitments

Although small amounts of stress can be motivating, high levels of stress can have the opposite effect.  In fact, increasing stress levels can contribute to procrastination, fear, wasting time and energy, a lack of focus, an inability to be present, fatigue, irritability and a compromised immune system.

If the overarching theme in your life is "I just don't have the time" or "My plate is too full" or "I'm exhausted and I can't keep up," it's time to take a look at how you got here.

The first step in getting a handle on feeling overwhelmed is to decipher whether what you are feeling and experiencing is real or imagined.  This is not to diminish your feelings, but to encourage you to clarify whether your thoughts are creating your feelings of stress, or if your choices have created an overwhelming life.  Either way, you are in charge.  And either way, you can make new choices and thoughts to create a healthier, more balanced version of your life.

If you find that you really aren't that busy -  or when you sit down to make your "to-do" list, it's really only 3 phone calls and an errand or two - your thoughts may be the underlying cause of your anxiety and stress.  For this category of people, you want to look at whether you have an unrealistic idea of what you really need to be doing.  Do you have high expectations of yourself? Or is this carried over from a parents or caretakers high expectations of you?  How are your time-management skills?  This type of individual may also have undiagnosed or untreated depression, anxiety or ADHD.  Be sure to rule these out while you are working on managing your feelings of being overwhelmed.

If your life really is overrun with plans and an ever-growing "to-do" list, now is the time to look at why you have created an uncomfortable, busy life for yourself.  Is this something you have always done?  Was it modeled for you by a parent or caretaker?  Might you be avoiding something by staying busy - like an unsatisfying marriage or feelings of low self-esteem?  You will want to address the underlying issue that has you filling your life up to the point of feeling engulfed by your commitments.

Once you have ruled out whether it is just your thoughts contributing to your stress and overwhelm, or if you have actually overloaded your life and don't know how to stop, here are some basic tips to get back on track so that you can enjoy life again:

• Slow down - try breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, or simply some scheduled quite time alone.
• Plan ahead - use a calendar and stick to it.  Try not to schedule more that 2-3 things per day.
• Make daily lists - it's best to make your list in the evening to ease your mind for a good night's sleep.
• Prioritize - this may be the hardest thing for many of you, but also the most rewarding.  Is getting the car washed really more important than taking a walk with a loved one?
• Ask for help - VERY important, especially for overachievers.
• Learn how to say "no" - this is the key to a balanced life.  Even if setting a boundary feels harsh at first, people will respect you for it in the long run.
• Consider counseling - no matter which type of person you are (whether thoughts are creating your stress or you keep your life so busy you can no longer manage it), therapy is a safe, supportive place to explore how you might be contributing to your unhappiness or frustration and where you can find solutions to decrease stress and increase joy and peace in your life.

Getting to the underlying issue at work in your overwhelming, chaotic life has many benefits. As a result of facing this challenge head-on you will experience greater health, deeper and more meaningful connections with loved ones and you will feel a great sense of peace as a result of living a more balanced, present life.  You only get one shot at this life (who is to say what might transpire in another) so why not tap into your unique and inherent value and give yourself a deeply satisfying life this time around?  You deserve it.