pick up the phone already! a mild-mannered rant.

If I had a nickel for every time someone spent their therapy session on an argument over text messages, or how they recently discovered the guy they are currently engaged to changed his Facebook relationship status to “It’s complicated,” I’d be a wealthy woman.  People actually pay me to process with them their wild assumptions.  And when I ask, “Have you spoken to your friend that seemingly lashed out at you in a text to clarify what she meant?” or “Did you ask your fiancé about the change of status on his Facebook page?” I am often met with a blank stare (or, more accurately, a slow-growing smile as my clients know I prefer old-fashioned communication when it comes to talking with loved ones).

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am happy to help the people who come to see me.  And I don’t judge them for utilizing all these fun and easy ways to stay in touch.  I just feel frustrated at the state of communication in this day and age of technological deluge and I worry about how we are going to create healthy and lasting relationships in the face of all these impersonal communication options.

In the face of myriad modes of contact – IM’ing and texting and tweeting, oh my - we have gotten crazy lazy.  And I fear it will bite us in the butt in the long run.

I admit that I prefer emailing over making a phone call.  For me - a multi-tasker who doesn’t particularly enjoy idle chit-chat - an email is quick, to-the-point and I’m on to the next thing.  So, I do understand the value of emailing and text-messaging for things like scheduling, a quick bit of information, or a shout-out that one is running late.  But, please, if what you need to communicate is anything more than The dog will be ready at the groomers at 5 o’clock, please...for crying out loud…pick up the phone! 

I promise you, this is a simple, free piece of advice that will save you so much time and discomfort, and maybe even a few bucks at the therapist’s office.  That way, you can get to the bottom of the mysterious change on his Facebook page much quicker and you can utilize your time with your therapist to learn better communication skills to use the next time you actually talk directly to your friend or fiancé.